Day 17- Inside My Head

I feel like every move I make needs to be calculated, as if the smallest mistake can bring down any sort of progress I have made. I have only been able to obtain so much of a good thing before I ruin it. The saying two steps forward one step back has always been moreContinue reading “Day 17- Inside My Head”

Day 15

I have had nightmares and vivid dreams for as long as I can remember. When I was a year old, we lived in a little house in Anchorage. I recall dreaming about blood in a bathtub underneath the house in a shelter area. I was never allowed down there but when I asked my parentsContinue reading “Day 15”

Day 14- Fluke

  I have been contemplating going back to college to finish up my associate degree. I am a few classes away from obtaining it, so I am weighing the pros and cons. I was going for Biology and Microbiology but flunked/dropped out because I was with an abusive ex (yes, stupid, and it was honestlyContinue reading “Day 14- Fluke”

Day 13- Firsts

  The first time I purged was as typical as any other persons first self-vomiting. I did it because I needed to feel in control of the chaos surrounding my life. It was an exhilarating feeling. It was actually pretty hard to do and hurt a bit, but I felt a short lived high. ItContinue reading “Day 13- Firsts”

Day 10 Baby Steps

  I felt a bit of hopelessness when I heard Demi Lovato overdosed on heroin. It is sad to think that someone who has access to the top of the line treatment facilities and had been sober six years can still relapse. I can only imagine the emptiness and failure she felt with her firstContinue reading “Day 10 Baby Steps”