Setback

I am very disappointed in myself these days. I know I am so much better than what I am and can achieve anything so why do I have to be so human? Obviously because I am human but still. I know drinking and binging feed on each other, I  also know when I don’t getContinue reading “Setback”

Unbearable Thirst

Its an unbearable thirst, detoxing that is, and maybe I am not even detoxing at this point, but all I want is a drink, I need a drink, no fluids satisfy me. In fact I am taking a piss at least once every hour if not more. I want my mind to be gone. IContinue reading “Unbearable Thirst”

Sober Day 5…ugh.

I think the worst part about getting sober is the possibility that maybe I am just permanently screwed up and emotionally unstable. Like when I was bulimic I could always just blame instability on hormones, when I was a teenager I could blame it on my childhood abuse, as I got older I could blameContinue reading “Sober Day 5…ugh.”

Meh, Detoxing, ya know?

I have known I was an alcoholic for a long time, probably since my lower twenties and questioned it after every party. At least than I still drank for the good time. When I wanted to go sober for a month a year ago I knew by than I was an alcoholic and had repeatedlyContinue reading “Meh, Detoxing, ya know?”

Happy Fourth?

Well, this is my third day sober, although I am not sure Tuesday actually counts since I was drunk past midnight that morning, whatever, I’ll count it. I wonder when I will stop counting, the only reason I remember how long I have been bulimia free is because the last time I purged was newContinue reading “Happy Fourth?”