Day 51- Trying To Stay Strong

I cannot say I am doing well; however, I can say that I am average. It is so easy for my daughters’ mother to say see a therapist, honestly though after about the eighth one I realized that the reason I can’t be helped is because psychology just isn’t there yet with understanding my trauma.Continue reading “Day 51- Trying To Stay Strong”

Day 50- Frustration

I wonder if there will ever be a time in my life that I permanently want to live. Instead I feel like I am always fighting the depression of wanting to die. I know these feelings will always pass, normally after a few hours, sometimes after a week. I suppose there have been the timesContinue reading “Day 50- Frustration”

Day 48- Just Thoughts

Bacon, eggs, and coffee, what better way to start a Sunday morning. I will be helping my daughters’ parents paint their basement, I can see myself making a mess. I really need to start thinking about what I am going to do next May when my lease is up. I don’t feel safe in myContinue reading “Day 48- Just Thoughts”

Day 47- 3 Phobias

I have a deathly fear of insects. I have not always been this way. In fact, I recall when I was seven and not being afraid at all. I was playing outside our camper one day (we had no home at this time so had to stay in a camper while my parents looked forContinue reading “Day 47- 3 Phobias”

Sorta Positive, Not Really LOL

  How does one describe growing up poor or in poverty and trying to get out? Trying to be better than their parents and surroundings but still only knowing that way of living? That way of coping? In my fucked up life I have already done better than my parents but still I am nothing. IContinue reading “Sorta Positive, Not Really LOL”