Day 4- Numb

I am not a fan of birthdays. Each one reminds me of every year of time wasted. Time creates barriers and washes away dreams. It keeps me a prisoner of my own body, waiting for the clock to finally end. I had originally written a lengthy blog about when my first purging session happened asContinue reading “Day 4- Numb”

F.U.

Tightness in the chest, holding back tears, not being strong enough to and having moments of crying. Smile, try to enjoy the time you have. Laugh, live, and love they say. Cleanse the energy around you to breath, hold onto your black tourmaline for comfort. A sickening sinking feeling when you know your past willContinue reading “F.U.”

Rando Thought Process

Everything happens for a reason, everything will work out, I tell myself this, but sometimes I feel like it’s not always true. We don’t all make it, do we? There are stories of people who go batshit crazy because of stress. I heard a story about a guy who was stressing over money for years butContinue reading “Rando Thought Process”

Day 2

  Day 2 GETTING RID OF THE GARBAGE Well I threw up dinner last night but considering that was my only purging time during the day I do not feel so terrible. I am struggling to find the middle ground of eating healthy without dieting while still wanting to lose weight. I weigh roughly 145Continue reading “Day 2”

Day 1 The Beginning

I thought I would try something newish. I do wish I never removed my blogs relating to the book as those really are the beginning stages of my recovery and journey, I don’t even like the word recovery, more like growth. Recovery reminds me of a beaten dog. Anyways, so I will post a blogContinue reading “Day 1 The Beginning”