Just Tired

You ever have those perfect mornings you wake up and the sky is a beautiful rising sun soft rainbow color, the green tea tastes extra delicious, the carpets are all freshly cleaned, the incense is extra calming, and the birds are chirping? Or something similar? Just that perfection?

Today was full of highs and lows. I woke up around 5, not that I wanted to, I just did, and couldn’t fall back asleep. I was going to go for a walk this morning with Bailey but it was actually really cold, 35 I believe, so we didn’t. I think he is okay being lazy honestly. So naturally, I went back inside, ate a taco and watched Netflix till I fell asleep again. I had a weird dream where it was a workday and I literally slept through the whole day at work and when I would try to work I couldn’t wake my body up, like I knew i was sleeping in my dream where I was sleeping. Anyways, after that I decided to run errands, so I went to Natural Grocers for my Anxiety Soother extract from Herb Pharma. After that I went to get Applebees because shrimp and Parmesan steak sirloin sounded amazing, and it was. I bought some groceries for the week and came home and Bailey and I went to the dog park.

I just feel off today. I think I need to do another cleanse.  I don’t know, I have been anxious all day and no real reason behind it. I just feel blah and exhausted and my head feels like its full of pressure. I am tired now and its only 730 so I am going to try and go to bed since tomorrow is Monday. Goodnight peeps.

Side Note: There was hockey playing at Applebees, the crowds were full so I am assuming it was an old game. It was a weird feeling. Like there were other people in the restaurant, not near as much as a Sunday afternoon would be, I would say half of what is normal, but I guess I also never really went to that particular Applebees much either so it might be normal. Anyways…..yeah, just a weird feeling, a somewhat empty restaurant and a old game playing with a full crowd cheering.



Could meat really be making me feel this badly?

So Exhausted

Ugh peeps, ya know, that detox worked amazing but I have to say, even now, I just had so much energy. Today was nothing but go go go go. I FINALLY got a hair cut and my eyebrows done, seriously, I was feeling like a matted dog. I also washed and vacuumed my car. I went to walmart and bought typical necessities (that shit adds up fast, especially with a dog and cats). I went to the greenhouse to pick four more plants. I have been finding some on facebook and whatnot, but I need eight total. I also went to the crystal shop to talk with the owner, I should be starting Sundays in the next couple weeks. That would be nice because I would still have Saturdays off. I like talking with the owner, she interesting, and really likes coffee. OH YES, and the CBD Oil, is ONLY $39 with a sale, so I didn’t have to spend $100 on it! I also bought that dream catcher, ugh I love it so much. After I did all that I planted my flowers in their little pots, planted flowers for outside in hanging pots, like the long kind that go on the rail. I also finished carpet cleaning  the remainder of the living room, rugs, and my bedroom (tempurpedic beds are fricken heavy) I also planted my peas, rosemary, and basil. Bailey and I didn’t do our walk today, but I figured that is okay, I got over six miles worth of steps in. Bailey needed a day off anyways, tomorrow we will be back at it. So yeah, there was just really no time to blog. My hair appt was at nine this morning and I started off the day by doing my car before it. It is now 10:25 and I just got done with my bath not too long ago, now I will have my night time tea, read a book, and sleep very well. Have a good night peeps.

Oh yeah, I ate a chicken taco today along with my detox powders.  You keep using them for the remainder of the month because they are very good for you. Ugh, amazing man, thats all I can say.

Bruh, fresh clean carpets are amazing.

Looonnng Day, Good Night

Do you ever just want to give your mind a break and run away from the world? I mean, running never gets you as far as you need to go and you always have to go home eventually. What if your home was somewhere else though. This already was near impossible before, with a soon to be shitty economy (if not already) there would be too much risk. Plus, I am not sure I would even find a home in America, like theres places in Europe that look beautiful. I have heard that some can be racist though and that theres places where you get mugged. But thats here too so, I don’t know.

So I made a beef roast for lunch. I feel gross. I am starting to wonder if I should be eating meat. But if I don’t eat meat than I can’t really low carb. But maybe if I ate a fresh plant based diet I can lose weight and be healthy. Can someone be allergic to meat? I haven’t found any satisfaction with it, quite the opposite. It is all quite weird. Maybe I should do another detox to get it out of me but also incorporate protein plant items. I just don’t think I can eat meat anymore. Which is a bummer because there are times is smells really fricking good. And its so good for muscle building, but maybe there are other sources that can provide as much protein I need. I do want to build muscle. I just didn’t think I was going to feel so sick after eating meat.

Oofta, very busy day. Work never slowed down and then I went out and bought a carpet cleaner, went to the crystal shop and just spent three hours carpet cleaning my living room, like FULLY, moving everything and whatnot. So it was a good day. I will write more tomorrow. Good night y’all.

Sorta Gloomy Lol

Wowwww peeps…..never eat chili pistachios before bed. I mean, I shouldn’t be eating before bed ANYWAYS buuuuut, I got a little to caught up in Netflix. Theres this show called “Never Have I Ever…” and its actually pretty funny. But because I did that I had the worst nightmares all night long. I just felt full and bloated, which makes sense because who seriously eats a serving of pistachios lol, ESPECIALLY while watching a show. TV is detrimental to health for real. Uffda.

So the first dream is one that really freaked me out, but I was also half awake too. For some reason I thought the power went out (even though I was sleeping in the dark) so I don’t know if I was dreaming about the lights being on or what but all of a sudden the power went out (it didn’t really) and I started freaking out. I am not sure when I woke up  but I remember shaking pretty bad and sitting up in bed and trying not to cry. I used to be afraid of the dark, like I couldn’t even sleep with the lights off, so I am not sure why this freaked me out. But I got up and looked out the window (I think I was awake by this time) and the other building lights were on so it made me feel better about it not being an apocalypse I guess. I was sitting in bed shaking but than common sense got a hold of me and said I should try and turn on my light and guess what? It turned on. I was still gasping for air and my breathing was mega off and my heart was racing, so I feel like I was fairly close to a small panic attack. I had to lay in the light for awhile to calm back down, also my sheets were drenched. I continued to wake up about every hour after that and that one happened about midnight. Another one that really freaked me out was I was laying sideways (it just seems more comfortable lately) and I had the cats pinning me down and Bailey. Well, there was this freaky horror movie skinny dead girl with a freaky mouth who sat up and than turned to climb on me. I was paralyzed (sleep paralysis) trying to scream but I couldn’t. I know when this happens its a dream and I need to get myself out of them so I of course woke up screaming and gasping. This time I was really sweating and hot, and I am pretty certain the reason I couldn’t move was because I was under all my blankets and the boys were pinning me down. So, I slept only under a sheet and opened the bedroom window. It wasn’t really warm in my bedroom either, not as warm as I normally like it, I just was that hot. I was bloated and gross.

Buuuut anyways, this shit is known to happen if I eat shitty before bed, like Chinese, ugh chinese food can be the devil, its delicious sure, but dang, makes me blow up like a whale. I think it was the influx of sodium really, that shit can mess you up, especially if you have been detoxing. It doesn’t take much to mess up the natural rhythm of the body. I will need to find healthy snacks, like maybe cheese crips or something, or chicken jerky,  something low carb, for tv snacking.

So I actually feel pretty good this morning though. I am having black tea because I am out of green tea. The skies are blue and the air is clean and crisp. It is Thursday, wow week flies by fast. Tomorrow is payday and I should be receiving my stimulus today or tomorrow, which means some bills are getting paid and I can get my CBD oil.

Regardless of how I feel about the virus and how dumb the idea of quarantine is,  I actually will support it being as prolonged as possible. During my walk today I realized that as long as people are slowed down by quarantine they are paying attention to their surroundings. In terms of global warming, this can be a very good thing. Its so easy to turn off the news or close a story of extreme weather happening. Its so easy to turn it off and go do something fun, because as long as its not in your backyard, you don’t have to worry about it. Covid-19 has proved that. Regardless how I feel about it, a good chunk of people never paid any attention to it as it was slowly making its way around the globe, not until it got to us that is.

Dominos…dominos dominos dominos….problems build up, one by one, eventually they get closer together till one falls down and they all fall down.

COVID-19 and the Doomsday Clock: Observations on managing global risk

Well, I was hoping to write more about goals and dreams but today is actually extremely busy and I would like to make sure to have a blog published, so have a good day everyone! I have already walked 5 miles! Be good to yourselves.

Good Morning-Just a Whole Lotta Nothing Lol


I feel really good today, just a tad bit tired, so maybe I will have two servings of green tea in the mornings. I had my green shake for breakfast and lunch. I had a salad for lunch with ranch dressing and feta cheese….OH HOW I HAVE MISSED THOSE! Oh yes, and a steak, but we wont talk about that.

Bailey and I did our typical 2-3 hour walk this morning. He has a new friend, Hawkins. Hawkins is a rescue from a town a few hours away. He got just barely side swiped by a girl on a bike, like he wasn’t hurt at all but it really really freaked him out and was letting out the worst yelps and was shaking and cowering. It was really sad. Bailey and I had gone ahead of them since we walk faster (his owner is an older man) but we had turned around to check on him. Even though he was not hurt it was just really sad to see. He was fine though and his dad said he was going to get lots of treats when he got home. The girl was young and felt bad too, I don’t think she knew how to react really but I told her he was a rescue and thats how some are. That also makes me feel guilty for eating meat, but meat gives my body energy, its just full of so many mixed feelings. At least in the villages the animals lived healthy lives till they were hunted.

Our state is opening back up this weekend. I am not sure if that means I will have to work at work now or what. I also wonder if that means all my applications I have out there will finally get looked at.

Does anyone else feel like the government really has no idea what its doing and that the stimulus money is shut up money? It almost feels like a game. First, the fear response never matched the true statistics, not compared to responses to other viruses, and the more we know about the virus the more the current response is even more dramatic. But with that….now theres more stimulus packages being talked about and states are opening back up. Its just weird. Like…I feel like theres a lot of officials in the dark about stuff…but I feel like theres bigger items going on. This system has always been fragile beyond what people ever could have realized, even myself really, I didn’t think a simple virus (because is terms of viruses it is extremely simple and isn’t even considered “deadly” in the viral world, yes it kills but that doesn’t make it deadly.) I feel like an economic collapse is already here, but we are pushing out as much money as possible to people so it wont realize it.

Also…in January the Doomsday Clock was 100 seconds to midnight, the closest its ever been. I am wondering….how close it would be now.

What about the wars?  Do wars take a break for a virus?

What happened to North Koreas leader Kim Jong Un?

What about the climate?

What about the faltering relations between Russia and America? Is it America and China now? America against Russia, China, and the Middle East?

What about the borders? Can’t forget America against Mexico.

Uffda….nope….those ripple effects…make my head hurt.

Maybe…it is not an economic global collapse…but the end of our country as we know it? I have never actually seen “empires” fall, just in history I remember there being a lot of buildup and than a domino effect. I know theres a domino effect with the climate we are about to hit. As a world that is so intertwined, would the fall of one country effect the others?



I slept very well last night. I found this sleeping herbal tea from Traditional Medicinals. I was really excited to try it because it had almost the same ingredients that is in my Herb Pharm Relaxing Sleep extract, INCLUDING the catnip. I think some of my readers know how excited I get over the catnip, buuuut it definitely relaxed me and shut my mind off and I do not feel groggy in the slightest.

I am discovering my love of walking again. I remember when I was a mail carrier I loved  the walking routes, it felt like my legs were wings in a sense. I am starting to feel that freedom again. This weekend I will be buying that CBD Oil from the shop, I am hoping that combined with the Your Super Mellow Yellow will make my body almost mega human and have no pain in the slightest. Mega human…I mean like…my age LOL. I am not even thirty yet, almost, but dang, I need to be nicer to my body. I wish I could tell the younger me that those wild nights that I thought would hit me when I was in the fifties, would actually hit my body a lot sooner.

So I am wanting to get healthier so I can hopefully take a trip this summer. I have mentioned before wanting to go to the crystal caves in South Dakota, well, I still definitely have the dream of doing so. But while I am at it, I also want to visit Cosmos and Devils Tower, and than drive over to Yellow Stone in Wyoming. I am thinking I will need two weeks to do this unfortunately so I am not exactly sure if it will happen this year. I could take a week off for either I suppose and do one next year.  I just feel like I need to enjoy my life more and go do things. It all depends on how finances go I suppose, can’t really plan trips if the pandemic realllllly screwed up everything lol. But at the same time my mind says those bills will always be there and I need to enjoy myself too, so I don’t know yet.

Money brings no happiness and is the root of all evil, and every society built upon it has crumbled, its a fragile system that exploits the weak and never sees the good in people, their worth is based on how much money is made. Maybe one day it will be our talents and gifts that build a community. A society without money, scary to many, but we are not nearly advanced as we should be, maybe it’s because we have evils holding us back.

I hope everyone has a great day! The sun is shining here, the air is the wonderful sweetness of grass after a thunder boomer. I am going to shower and Bailey and I are going on our walk. Remember to love yourselves. Bye!

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