Setback

I am very disappointed in myself these days. I know I am so much better than what I am and can achieve anything so why do I have to be so human? Obviously because I am human but still. I know drinking and binging feed on each other, I  also know when I don’t getContinue reading “Setback”

Invincible

If you are lucky, you  have experienced the feeling of invincibility based on your own success, and overwhelming happiness, not based on anyone around you, but from yourself. I do not think many people experience this, not with the rate depression and substance abuse are increasing. Many people just go on with life saying itContinue reading “Invincible”

Unbearable Thirst

Its an unbearable thirst, detoxing that is, and maybe I am not even detoxing at this point, but all I want is a drink, I need a drink, no fluids satisfy me. In fact I am taking a piss at least once every hour if not more. I want my mind to be gone. IContinue reading “Unbearable Thirst”

Sober Day 5…ugh.

I think the worst part about getting sober is the possibility that maybe I am just permanently screwed up and emotionally unstable. Like when I was bulimic I could always just blame instability on hormones, when I was a teenager I could blame it on my childhood abuse, as I got older I could blameContinue reading “Sober Day 5…ugh.”