Out of Embers, Roses are Born

You’ve been on my heart and mind a lot lately. It was never a fair burden to put on you, the burden of you being the one who saved my life. You did, though, in so many ways. The problem was I kept that burden on you too long after you were born, and looked to you for every moment of happiness. I used you as a scapegoat to my miserable life. My life was miserable because of my own faults; my lack of responsibility, ambition, and self accountability. I was too afraid of being happy and loving myself. I was afraid of even trying to love myself because I thought I would surely fail. But when someone’s entire happiness is placed on another, it will only become toxic. It did, luckily you were never around to see it, nor would you be old enough to remember. Your parents did though, and they were very right to push me away. In a way, I am grateful they did. My time with you showed me a whole other life I never believed could be possible for me. Your parents were the first ones in my life who actually saw my potential. They could never get me to see it though, but that’s quite alright, because no one can force another person to change. We went our separate ways due to my selfishness and toxicity, my ego and anger, and everything bad. Only then, after having to work hard to survive, finding God, relying on myself for my own happiness and strength, did I really start seeing what they saw in me. Because of you and them, I am able to love myself, and therefor love others. Because of the three of you, I know just how much I am capable of, and it is infinite. I will succeed at what all is coming in life for me, because I have been through Hell and back many a times, but you broke that cycle of me ever going back. Out of embers roses are born.

Published by Unbreakable Kitten

Headed East towards the horizon

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