It is 54 days sober, $810 and 324 hours saved not drinking. I wish I could be proud of myself but I am just constantly exhausted. This lack of energy started a few weeks ago. I swore it was PMSing, but now I am wondering if there is something physically wrong if if its just mental exhaustion. I have been working hard to try and keep my head afloat, but maybe…..I am exhausting myself.
To give an idea of how hard I have been working, I started my GMP career at the end of December. Between holidays and blizzards, I did not get a real “start” till mid January. Last month I was promoted, I will now likely be promoted this week. So I am legit working my ass off. On top of that I am trying to set up a coffee roasting bean business and sell makeup. Mix in my Podcast, Tiktok, and now Blogging into it (although that is more therapeutic) I guess it is no real wonder why I am exhausted.
I have attached my podcast. This is my views on my life from a psychological background POV. The episodes are short and I plan to release one every week.
Mentally…I am clouded, exhausted, drained….just everything tired I suppose. I really should start limiting my screen time, maybe find a good book to read. I have not been grounding myself lately, ironically….it takes work to relax lol.
I purged last night, I know this is purely habit. I just become so disassociated when I am like this. I know this creates an imbalance with my electrolytes which contributes to me feeling this way. I have got to do better. I will achieve my goals….I promise myself that. I will not put myself down for purging, after all, I am 53 days sober….and it has been well over a year since I have achieved this. I know my mind is trying to hold onto the bad habits of the bulimia. Its comforting because its familiar. But familiar is not always good….it can be deadly.
I hope everyone has a good day. Stay strong and positive!