So this is my third day of sobriety, clean, eating normal, and no purging. My mind is foggy, my mouth has a weird sweet taste to it, and I feel semi bloated but not terrible. The scale has pretty much stayed the same but I do not know if I should even be looking at it. I have obviously been here many times before. The last time, even though I had God, I did not accept the fact that I was done. I have to feed the sobriety just like I do addiction. Therefore I am listening to podcasts and doing interpersonal therapy at home. I highly recommend doing this if you are trying to stay sober. There are a lot of therapists out there who are willing to give their therapy for free.
I am trying to figure out a game plan with all the uncertainty with the future. We all know I like to be prepared for different scenarios, however that is near impossible right now because I do not know the future and there are a hundred ways life can go. I suppose I never knew what the future held to begin with but it at least used to seem a little more hopeful. Maybe though….it was always a false hope. I put all my hopes and wants in this world rather than the one that mattered. Maybe there is no point to a game plan.
I do wish I would have appreciated life more and the time spent with loved ones. What’s done is done I guess.
Regardless what happens, I have made my peace with God. I understand now that as long as I keep my faith in him and trust him I will be saved. This world is not the one I care to be saved in, but rather eternal salvation. This world is the devils playground. As a follower of Christ it is my duty as his servant to spread the word of God in hopes souls that have strayed away will find him again. While many might deem this pointless and lack hope in the lost souls, from personal experience I can say it is 100% possible for people to find their way back. We all know how much of an atheist I was and how much I mocked anyone who followed him. I never want to live without Christ again.
Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. But refuse foolish and ignorant speculations, knowing that they produce quarrels. The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may rant them repentance lading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:22)
Love and understanding is how to lead people to God. This though is kind of challenging for me as I can understand but I also just get tired of people. Maybe that means I do not understand enough? I do not like listening to peoples problems, it annoys me. Shit, reading back on my blogs I annoy myself. I cannot even read my book because I want to tell myself to just shut up and get over it.
Essentially that is what people need to do to overcome trauma. Just get over it. Although I remember being told to do this and then feeling offended because I did not think anyone could understand.
Okay I am annoying myself again.
This next administration is going to finish bringing in the devil to America, and down shall we fall. I am afraid the birthing pains may be ending and the first seal shall be released, Communism.
Then I saw when the Lamb broke one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures saying as with a voice of thunder, “Come.” I looked, and behold, a white horse, and he who sat on it had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer. (Revelation 6)
Oh well, what is meant to be will be.
Maybe…nothing will happen. Nothing can only last so long….we are just prolonging the inevitable. Either people fight back against Socialism or we succumb.
I feel like we have been living in 1984 longer then I realized, it just doesn’t even bother getting hidden now.
My mind is blah today. I suppose that is normal for where I am at with the sobriety and whatnot. I am taking tomorrow off but now I am debating on if I should work. I do not think anything happening to civilians is realistic, not yet. If Biden is sworn in tomorrow I am not sure there will be a World War but worldwide civil wars against with wars against the establishment. Does that make it a World War? Essentially if America sides with China and Russia than no other country stands a chance against communism. I am not sure if Russia even needs to be in there. I am also not a fan of the Vatican. Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing. The pedophile ring surrounds the churches and elite. I guess at this point the Catholic Church might as well be considered the elite. When I say I am Catholic I mean from the beginning with what Jesus preached, before the devil took over. No one can say we are no in intense times worldwide.
That is really all I have for now. I am going to keep drinking water and stay hydrated. Have a good one peeps. Repent, while the end times may not be near, your time very well could be. Be ready. I love you all.