Hiya peeps! I thought I would drop in and say a direct hello rather than just TikToks.
I am doing okay. I am fairly stressed these days but running at the gym seems to help. I have been having the worst nightmares and night terrors lately. Last night was probably the worst. I am sure its more election anxiety then anything. I really should not care that much and I wont go into my own beliefs right now but I really do hope Trump wins. Anyways though, true colors always come out eventually. We kept our governor and for that I am grateful.
I am fairly stressed about finances, I am just hoping that I can get moved and somewhat caught up before tax breaks are taken off if Biden wins. I also hope that once all this shit is done with that a stimulus can be passed soon, not that our country can afford it but whatever at this point.
If I think about my daughter and her parents I feel my mood want to sink into a depression so I try not to think about them. I do not think I will ever be able to keep anyone close, I’m just a virus. At least now I accept it. I never really accepted it before because I allowed myself to get close but if I truly care for someone, I will keep my distance. I have to. I can’t hurt anyone else.
I am seriously considering the whole learning to roast my own coffee. One good benefit with all this “inequality” crap these days is that I do have an advantage being a Native American female. I think though if I did it, and could do it well, I would want to make it inspirational and marketed towards people to be the best they can be. And even if I fail…..I can literally order a crap load of coffee beans for cheap and roast my own crappy coffee and have unlimited caffeine, so…sooo many bright sides lol.
Bailey and the kitties are doing well. Bailey is confused why everything is getting packed and the cats are trying to get into all the shit that I pack….they are not as helpful as they seem to think they are. I know they will love the new apartment though, its bigger and a lot more natural light. Its also a very small quiet town so no more college parties and people freaking Bailey out when I take him out.
There have been a ton of sirens that past couple nights. I am not sure what thats all about. I know the thefts in the area are sky rocketing. I am so happy to be leaving this place. No where is really “safe” anymore here. Crime is getting closer and closer to me. Thank the liberals for that shit.
I will probably head to bed. I already took a melatonin but I want to be well rested for my kids tomorrow so I may need to take another one. I think I will probably hit the gym too and have a good run. Ugh, the bummer about not letting anyone close is I have no one to hold me when I feel scared or anxious. Thats the reality of a mental illness though, its lonely and quite painful at times. Luckily I have my pets.
Have a good night guys. Keep your heads up, love yourself, be good to yourselves, tomorrow is a new day.
But for real…..when will these sirens end?