Hello peeps. I had planned to write last night but I was feeling overtired and exhausted. My body kept pushing to stay up but I knew if I did then I would just overeat and whatnot so I took melatonin and went to sleep.
I have been posting my TikToks because they are faster and more convenient to post then blogging, but blogging has more therapeutic benefits to it, so I plan to continue to do both. I am planning on starting up a YouTube channel too. Going through my story honestly is taking forever on TikTok and I keep forgetting what part number I am on lol. And with having more blogs with my TikToks, I don’t know, I feel like I am talking more personally to you guys.
The only real goal I have with my TikToks is to hopefully keep one person from making a choice such as starving themselves or purging, and sway their mind away once they see the long term hell that accompanies it. I am also hoping to reach one person going through a rough time and show them their is always hope as long as they keep fighting.
With one of my TikToks, the morning after I drank I had talking about being a failure to recovery. Maybe that is not the right word. I do not consider myself a failure as long as I keep trying. I am not a failure, I am human. Humans are faulty creatures but as long as you try to be a better you then you are a human with dignity.
For those who have followed me since the beginning, I am sure it seems like a same old same old story. That is okay though to think that, I don’t think I have many friends except one who is rooting for me these days. The blame goes to me so it is not fair to hold a grudge.
Today was an emotional one but it’s okay. The beauty of life is that even though we have bad times we can always be assured their will be beauty around us if we look for it, and there will always be another smile or laughter if you allow yourself to be open.
I have a bath going so that will be all I write today. For all my avid followers, thank you. I hope you all can see I am trying, trying harder then I ever have before.
Good night. Love yourself, let go of grudges, be free.