Ya know, that cancer stuff

Yesterday 13May2020

Hello my peeps! So I know I have missed a couple days of blogging but that’s mainly cause work has been extra busy so I can’t blog during, and I have just been busy outside of work as well, ya know, just living life. Well, as much as possible lol.

So this weekend was really good. Saturday was pretty laid back, if I remember right it wasn’t the nicest of days so I tidied up a bit, went to Crystal Rock Healing because one of the owners was there and I wanted to say hello and then I spent the remainder of the day playing Kingdom Hearts 3.

Sunday was great because I got my plant hangers in FINALLY. And they look amazing! I love love love them! I also went out to eat with a friend at Red Lobster, not the greatest food buuut good none the less, it was a nice Mother’s Day lunch.


Today 14May2020

It is a weird feeling when your best friend finds out she could have cancer. The doctors are I think 90% sure my daughters mom has cancer in her bile ducts. Don’t quote me on numbers, we all know I suck at those. She had her CT yesterday. She had her gallbladder removed a couple weeks  ago and has made a turn for the worst with jaundice and other unpleasant stuff. They thought it was something else at first that was causing her liver to dump bile into her intestines, I think….if I remember right, I probably don’t. Anyways, she will have a procedure done tomorrow to see what is up. The doctors are hopeful they caught it right away so it would just be a simple getting the liver healthy so they can take the mass out. So, I guess we wait to see.

Even though many in my family have died from cancer I have never actually cried at the news of possible cancer, that is weird on its own. I don’t like to cry, my eyes get puffy and swelly lol. But the doctors are hopeful, so I will be hopeful.

I don’t much like pessimism these days, its more exhausting than anything. I used to think it prepared me for the worst, after all, if you expect the worst you can never be disappointed right? But really, its just more draining, and only leads to further disappointment because your lack of expectations are confirmed. Its less forgiving. But everything will be alright.

So yeah, I was finally going to write a blog yesterday about how great things were but then yeah….

BUT things are still good ya know? Nothing has changed other than possible bad news but even if bad news does happen, the only thing thats really changed is just that…like, it just means treatment and getting better. My daughter just got one of those huge playgrounds for her back yard, she’s healthy, has everything she needs. Her parents still have everything they want and need. I still have everything that I was happy with before the possible bad news. So yeah, possible bad news doesn’t change anything if no one knows anything yet. And if bad news is confirmed, our surroundings are still the same, which are very healthy and privileged surroundings none the less, even mine, so the rate of everything being okay is high.

Sooo, yes, lets get back to it.

I still absolutely love Your Super products. I have been meaning to do a detox but I seem to really love hummus at the moment. I don’t know why I get in those moods where I just need ALL of something. Sometimes its BLTs, sometimes its tacos, sometimes its sushi, sometimes its onions and pickles, now I guess it is hummus. I mean…it could be worst lol. I haven’t had any real JUNK FOOD junk food cravings like crappy chocolate and candy since I did the detox. I have successfully switched over to carbs, but healthy carbs from fruits and whatnot…except the hummus and pretzels lol. I have gained a few pounds, but I think it is more water bloat as I have not been drinking enough water lately. I should have another detox kit being sent soon. I do have a little bit of the stuff remaining so I can definitely load up on extra scoops these next few days. I should start another detox when it comes in. I do feel so much better drinking them, like I just feel good. I am bloated this morning from video games and pretzels last night, I just needed to keep my mind from going off the deep end. I know I need to eat better. I don’t eat terribly though, just not as good as I should be. I should stay away from all processed foods. I think I will start calorie counting a little, just so I know how much portion control is.

I don’t think the next detox will be terrible because I haven’t had caffeine in like two weeks now. I don’t exactly miss it except for days where ya know, cry at night or something lol. But I feel like I am more aware of how cruddy my body really is inside. You see, when I drink caffeine I get all this energy, but now I am wondering how much of it is real energy vs my body just on a drug. You know, like when you take Tylenol for a headache, your not really getting rid of the problem, just masking it. So I feel like caffeine is masking how unhealthy I am. Like why do I feel sluggish without it? So yeah, its wasn’t intentional to quit drinking it for awhile, I just didn’t want to.

These were taken before bad news lol, so life felt perfect at the time.

Guys, I really hate cancer.

So how about the plants?

So I probably got too trigger happy with the camera but I was legit excited for my plants to finally be hanging lol. Also, I know I don’t take the best pictures. I have wanted them for awhile, and to finally have a salt lamp, plants, the decor, crystals, incense, a safe and secure apartment, a reliable and safe car, just everything, I am grateful for it all. So its made me really happy, not the stuff in general, but just how hard I have worked to get here, like, the accomplishment.

I have been tanning at the gym, it feels great to do that again. I really dislike tan lines and since it was becoming nice and I was outside a lot those were becoming a thing. Feeling just a little prettier really helps me feel human. I know that is a privilege but I have worked hard to get where I am at, so I don’t feel too guilty. I also know I have a long way to go to get ahead financially. I have been applying for evening jobs, I am not sure who all is hiring right now but I need to do something ya know? I cannot sit around and wait on money from the government. I can’t let myself feel like a dog needing to be taken care of. So I am crossing my fingers something happens with that soon.

I suppose that is all for today, I just wanted to update everyone. I meant to blog yesterday but yeah, ya know lol. I hope everyone has a great day, stay hopeful, keep ya head up, and do what you need to do to be the healthiest you. Later peeps.

Published by Unbreakable Kitten

Headed East towards the horizon

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