Day 49- Shhh…

It is weird to know I have support from people I do not even now, for this I am grateful.
Today was okay, I didn’t really sleep last night I do not think. I slept with my eyes open and when I do that, I always seem to wake up exhausted. When I sleep with my eyes open, I see the world pass by fast but steady. It’s like watching a slow film that’s black slowly turn bright within seconds and when I look at the clock five hours have passed by.
I wonder what it would feel like to have someone enjoy my company enough they could never get tired of me.
I was told twice today that I look like I am losing weight. To be honest I don’t think I am. I have lost a lot of muscle this past year since leaving the post office. I had the most amazing legs last year, after all, walking over twenty miles a day will cause that. I miss that great body I used to have. I know I could get it back with hard work, but there are other things to worry about such as school and work.
I am going to listen to the support I have and look for a nicer apartment come May.
Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for what will never happen and that any effort I put into what I am is amounting to nothing.
I haven’t really been able to think today. Work was busy trying to get caught up on shipments over the holiday weekend. I have been trying to keep up with schoolwork. Tomorrow should be better.
My mind is exhausted today, and my emotions are low. Goodnight my fellow peeps.


Published by unbreakablekitten

Headed East towards the horizon

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