Day 35- Last Day of Freedom

When life is going well, I do not have much to write about. I cannot say why I still b/p. It has to all be habit. I do not enjoy or like a lot of food I binge on, especially not in the excessive amount that I do. A cookie can taste amazing at first but after the 10th one it has almost no flavor, but I still keep eating more. I do not like how I look these days now that I am not walking 20 miles a day, but if I gain weight from the b/p than its fairly pointless to do it because of weight. It’s the sugar I am addicted to. When I went sober for a month, I started b/ping more, I am thinking since I couldn’t turn my mind off with a glass of wine I just became further stressed and used b/p to cope. My hope is that once I am studying, I can put all my focus onto that instead of my fears and in turn have less anxiety. I do not think I want to do anything therapy wise with a psych degree. I want to learn more of statistics and development. I think the roughest part will be to not mix my personal experiences in with my studies because that can skew my learning perception. What I feel is not always correct, so I need to go in with as open of a mind as possible. I wish I did not have to work tomorrow since it’s my first day of school, but I need to get in routine so it’s probably for the best. At least there are not many shipments tomorrow and everything is packed to go out so it will be a pretty easy-going day. I can log on from work also to see how classes are looking. I have one more book to pick up. I know I can do this; I just need to focus. I feel myself getting mentally and emotionally stronger every day and all this because I decided to start blogging. The past few days have been a bit on the slow side in terms of blogging but that’s okay because it means I’ve been fairly stable. I hope this next week I can tell about how I am handling school and work. I have to admit I bore myself, so I am sure I bore my readers at times. Maybe that’s why I have always craved some sort of drama in the past? It’s hard to live with stability sometimes. Well, my morning coffee is done, I need to take out the garbage and hang up my clothes. (I am terrible at putting away laundry). It is 11:30 and my last day of freedom because I am officially a college kid again. Happy Sunday peeps.

Published by Unbreakable Kitten

Headed East towards the horizon

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