Note to self, if I want to feel like shit then go ahead and eat a crud load of junk food. This is what I did last night at work. I am not sure why I binged, I did not purge though but it was so uncomfortable. And to be fair it wasn’t near as much food as I used to do on a binge. I am still stressed about finances. Like I am caught up I guess till the end of the week and I and I am really hopeful for an interview but I still am worried. So today I had a kale green smoothie, green tea, and mud/water for a good detox cleanse. I will attempt to drink as much water as possible. My tummy has been acting up for obvious reasons and I slept like shit last night which I think it because of the junk food. I have not been following my 8 hr eating window either. I think I should probably change it to 11-7 maybe. Normally when I am done at the gym I am hungry and I get done around 11. The 8 hr window frame was doing great on my tummy so I just need to do some tweaking and get back on track. Its all good because I recognize I am sliding a bit and can stop myself. I think this is pretty normal though. Everyone gets off balance so I don’t feel too bad about it. Neither should you if you are doing this too. For real though, how many people fall of track on going to the gym, walking, eating right, daily goals, we are human, we just have to fix the issue.
So my green smoothie was made from 2 cups of kale, a cup of frozen mixed tropical fruit, a banana, and 1.5 cups almond milk. I think I will skip the banana next time though. I don’t seem to really like the taste of bananas in smoothies. I will make up for it by adding extra kale.
So I would say going vegetarian has saved me a lot of money. I mean the processed vegetarian foods can get pricey but I shouldn’t eat so much of that bad crap anyways. Like it is absolutely delicious and is great to be able to eat similar to what others around me eat but whole fresh foods are better for the tummy. Everything else should be enjoyed in moderation.
I made “Warm the Fuck Up Minestrone” soup from Thug Kitchen today. So many vegetables. I did tweak it a tiny bit because I don’t really like to eat a lot of pasta so I added more lentils and some kidney beans to balance it out. I also added some extra rosemary because I absolutely love rosemary. I used the cabbage rather than kale since I am getting kale in with my smoothie. I had to add some more vegetable broth, I might have overloaded it a a little. It is amazingly delicious though. I am honestly becoming so impressed with my cooking.
I bought some more of my Herb Pharm anxiety reliever yesterday. I don’t feel I have much anxiety these days but natural stressors I guess. Either way if my crappy eating habits are a response to stressors or anxiety I would rather take a supplement to help calm them till I can do some self therapeutic things. Also it does not help that I get so bored sitting on my butt all night at work. I am really hoping for a physical job soon. Patience, Kateri, patience.
It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I had reached the other side, I just don’t know when. It was a whole new view and life, new air, new sky, new foundation, but I was in a strange land and didn’t know where to go. I could have turned back and jumped off the cliff, maybe I would have if I didn’t happen to meet the psychic. I think she is what helped give me a direction to go. Now I am just walking forward and hoping I am headed towards something grand.
That is all for today, I thought I would share some pictures of my day. I am going to try and meditate a little before I get ready for work. I have some relaxing piano music going and will probably cleanse my apartment since its been a week or so. Have a good day my friends. Look for what is holding your back. Are you pushing yourself to your full potential? Can you take a stronger jump? Cycling has taught me we always have more than we feel we are capable of. When you first are ready to collapse you are only half way to your potential, maybe not even that. Stay strong and keep fighting.