Oofta, hard workout this morning. My friend I normally workout with went to the cities to watch a Wild game with her boyfriend (jealous) so I did a group cycling class on my own today. It was weird but I was still very comfortable. I ate like crap at the hockey game last night and I definitely felt it make today harder. On the upside I burned more calories than normal. The instructor seemed really happy to see me too, maybe I have gone enough that she believes I will keep going back. They do have a 530 A.M. class everyday for when I am able to find another job. It is nice to enjoy working out for the feel good highs.
I remember before being too depressed to even get a good workout in, like I would only have energy for maybe 15-30 minutes and feel so disgusted with myself that I would have to leave. Extreme depression is hard to work out of but it is very possible or I wouldn’t be where I am at today. You have to really want it though. The misery and darkness of depression and chaos can be comforting. I remember thinking a good relaxing night was having some beers while taking a bath and listening to Sia’s saddest songs. There is a comfort listening to someone sing about how you feel but its not healthy. If you let your mind and spirit live in chaos and depression your energy will only attract just that. There is no room for happiness in that state of mind. I do still enjoy sad music, at the moment I am really into Halsey, and I still enjoy my podcasts like Sword and Scale that show the worst of humanity, but you have to know when to give yourself a break. That is just my lame advice though lol.
So yesterday was actually a pretty good day, I normally despise Valentines Day because its so over commercialized and puts such high expectations on couples. The night before at work our supervisors gave my team members and I valentines candy as a thank you for our hard work and that they appreciate us, I thought this was really nice. Than yesterday I went tanning right away early in the morning because my friend (workout friend) and I wanted to get our nails done. She has never had her nails done before so it was exciting. Bitch has nice skinny fingers lol so she could pull off any nail. After than I went and bought some new running shoes, ASICS for half off at Kohl’s. Good running shoes are a must for a bad back and poor knees. I than went to get my hair cut. I am going to grow out my bangs I think. I have never liked my forehead because I was always teased for it being funny looking. To be honest I don’t see it…maybe it used to be, who knows, but I want a haircut that screams confidence rather than hiding behind bangs. After that I had my phone interview which I feel went great! The HR guy said he was going to forward my information to the hiring manager here in town and I should be expecting an interview, YESSS! After that I dyed my hair black, its naturally a very dark brown but I like black better, its more bold. My friend in New York sent me a box full of Valentines candy because to her the holiday is about appreciating and loving your friends, she even sent me a donut lol. I was able to relax for a bit after that with the boys before hockey. We lost the game but it was okay because we had a pretty good fight at the end off the game where our player destroyed the other teams guy. And I guess after that I took a nice hot bath, had some tea, journaled, and went to bed, where I did sleep almost 7 hours and only woke up ONCE!
I think I am ready to start watching how much I eat. I have noticed myself overeating a lot and I do not know if this is because I am working out a lot or because I have the bad habits of binging still. I do feel like there is a thin line between eating in moderation and feeling restricted. I am going to start keeping track of what I eat an how much with MyFitnessPal. I have an Apple Watch so it will track how much I work out too. Technically my weight is considered overweight but rather than the number I am more concerned about the weight strain being put on my knees. I do not think tracking my food will hurt, it might even be beneficial because I might be more mindful of what I am eating.
It was a busy couple days but all is good. I have high hopes for an interview next week. It is a beautiful day out and Bailey is enjoying it at daycare because he has huge yards there to play in. I am going to go do nothing till it is time for hockey, hope everyone has a good day!
P.S. Oh hey, 5 months fully sober
P.S.2- Yes 23 degree is very warm….