A week ago, my focus was to document recovery from my eating disorder. To my amusement it has been about recovery from alcohol instead. I know I have said before they come hand in hand, but my goal was to be a guide to others with eating disorders. I am sure however there are many like me who have just as many problems (?) if not more, so if anything, I hope they can look to me to show that with steps they can heal also.
Today will be short and sweet as I have a busy day planned but wanted to document how I am doing. My birthday did not go as planned but I really enjoyed it. The friend whom I was going to go out with had some family troubles so we will spend Sunday together. My daughter’s parents took me out to Red Lobster. My daughter and I both had crazy hyper sugar rushes from a sundae. Today I will go and play video and board games with them. It was very low key which is the way I like it. Also, first birthday sober in a decade successful.
Today my emotions feel stable. My thoughts are still a bit chaotic, but I feel in control. I still feel a haze but not detached. I do not feel so angry or emotional. Physically, I feel well. If someone were to ask me how I am today and I respond, “I’m ok,” it would be an honest answer for once.
I know I shouldn’t count the days of sobriety but today is six. I took a before sobriety picture day one and a picture last night before I went out to eat and its interesting how much brighter my eyes are none the less skin. My face does not look so bloated and my eyes not so puffy. A week ago, I was waking up after 11am hungover, drinking a mimosa to get straight enough to go visit my friends. Today I am having a cup of green tea while breakfast is cooking, have already showered and have taken Bailey for a 45-minute walk and it is 930 am.
I have decided the best diet for me will be low carb for the time being. However, I will not be so obsessed with counting carbs as just making sure I am eating a lot of vegetables. I am thinking about a month of this and then gradually add healthy carbs. Sobriety is still my focus this coming month. If I know I feel better on a meat, veggie, and cheese diet than that is what my only focus will be on eating wise. The hard part of getting sober will be happening next and that is where I feel GREAT and tell myself a drink will make me feel even better, which is will, but it’s a short-lived happiness.
Tomorrow is the start of a new week. Be good to yourself.