Unbreakable Kitten

Well, day 3 of the IUD removal (yesterday) was shit to say the least. After using up 18 tampons the afternoon before and yesterday morning I was finally able to shovel myself out to go buy more before I completely ran out. That was fun but once I bought the super plus my body decided to calm down so now I am back to light bleeding. Last night though was like shit to say the least. I have been feeling weird off and on but last night I felt really weird and I am fairly certain I blacked out. Like I was playing on the floor with Bailey and next thing I know its two hours later. I had the worst migraine so decided to go to bed. I couldn’t get enough water either, I was drinking a couple glasses an hour if not more and continuously using the bathroom. I had a lot of nightmares all night too. I remember falling asleep but I was in sleep paralysis I think. I was inside of dreams. I kept trying to turn on my lights and wake myself up but I would just wake up inside another dream and couldn’t move. It all took place in my bed so that is why I think it was paralysis, and also my watch didn’t catch any sleep activity at all which I found weird as I should have technically been sleeping when I passed out and than during the nightmares, all together which should have been at least four hours if not more. When I awoke from that my head was really bad and I was sweat soaked. I ended up stepping outside for a while to cool down, mind you its like subzero outside but it felt good. I drank a lot more water before heading to bed but when I would drift off I kept hearing voices in my head, it was like a radio female voice explaining things to me but I could not understand her, like I could but it didn’t make sense.

This morning I woke up fairly okay, drained but okay. My tummy really hurt, still kind of does a little but I see the gastro next Wednesday. I have an appointment with my doctor this Thursday for a follow up with the removal.

I feel okay I guess right now. I don’t feel like I need to punch a wall so thats nice. I have felt so angry lately at everyone and everything. I took some ibuprofen for my headache. I ate bacon and eggs for lunch and had coffee, just keeping my routine normal I guess. I am on vacation starting tomorrow for 11 days. I hope thats enough time for the hormonal withdrawal. I feel like I could sleep for days. I just get these random bits of fatigue and than have energy the next. I had some hair loss in the shower today, I will take some extra biotin to help with that. The water bloat has subsided considerably. I am so happy for that.

Actually I think I have become kinda blah now. I feel numb again, my hands feel weird too.

So enough about the IUD crap, there’s nothing good with that lol. A new year is coming right? A lot of people seem to be excited yet again for hangovers and broken resolutions. I should be optimistic, after all I pretty much succeeded with my goals last year. I guess not the savings. I could start one for the new year lol.

Also, side note, I literally just felt the fog rise out of my head, it was like an invisible string being pulled….wtf bruh..

I still don’t fully recall what my resolutions were, I think the only ones I didn’t complete were the sky diving and savings. I do feel like the IUD held me back a bit. Who knows how much good the sobriety has done for me since my hormones have been screwed up. I am trying to make sense right now but I do not feel like I am, I feel all over the place. I do work tonight, I am trying to be easy on myself.

I am thinking of joining the gym again. I have wanted to for awhile, I just have been dealing with so many low moods and stress that I have had no ambition to go. I really do think those will go away. I do not have to worry about being so hungover either this time around.

Ugh okay, extreme depression is here now.

I am going to go and take a shower and read for a bit. Have a good day my friends.

Also, I am not trying to scare anyone away from getting an IUD, I’ve heard it works great for some, just not me I guess. It makes sense if I already have a chemical imbalance and have never really reacted great to birth control, I mean it has never been anything like this but still.

Kay, now here I go, although now that depression is lifting, ugh gawd.