Hmm…sugar overload from treats at work, downed liquids to keep from dealing with constipation, cramps from my IUD, yep, its been a great evening. I am trying to stay grounded. I am still waiting to hear from a second job. I feel gross and bloated, damn this is all too familiar.
I think I mentioned before I am back to drawing, but I cannot recall if I said I am making a picture for my daughter for her birthday next month. It’s not much done yet, but it feels good to be able to hold a pencil without shaking.
I don’t know what it is I am trying to find. I know at the beginning of the year I made goals, I cannot remember what they were though. I know one was to get over bulimia, I suppose this is day five I think? I do not know when I can say I am truly over it since I was over it for like eight months? I guess I can just call it a fluke of starting again. I recall a second goal being to stay sober for a month, well I have done that but I also know I can never take a drink again. I have found drawing again and writing which I remember being another goal, finding things I used to enjoy. Maybe I will have a savings by the end of the year like I wanted. I received my associates which I know was one.I didn’t go skydiving but that is okay. I still feel like I am missing something though even though I have accomplished all that I have, I also feel like I have accomplished nothing. I think I will get a rose quartz, I need to open up my heart chakra, I think some self love will do me well.
I guess today was another day. I slept in, did my normal routine, coffee, shower, let Bailey out, that sort of thing. I drew some and did some laundry. I guess ordinary days are okay. It doesn’t leave much room to write, but I suppose the whole no news is better than bad news. I could be saying that I drank two bottles of wine and had six beers again while vomiting up fifty dollars worth of Chinese, but I’m not. I am just sitting here on lunch drinking tea and playing with my crystals, typing about nothing. I guess I can live with that.
And I guess with that I will say goodnight to my readers. I have a few hours left of work, took some Tylenol to hopefully help with these cramps. Have a good evening everyone, remember even a day of nothing is better than a day of giving in to bad habits.
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