I am feeling a bit better today, a bit more balanced so to say. I am trying to down liquids to help with the bloat. I do not feel as bad this time around actually. I am drinking some apple cider vinegar to help with my tummy. Sigh, who would have thought I would be going through this shit again LOL. Man life can just be a drag. What is funny though is all the blogs I read about recovery was the need to quit drinking in order to recover and I always figured I was above that because I am stubborn and all. Guess I am typical after all. Alcohol is a poison anyways, I do not miss it.
I made some homemade soup today, lots of veggies and wild rice, good for the tummy to get going.
I honestly don’t remember the last time I made a home-made chicken soup with carbs. I am tired of dieting, tired of drinking, tired of bulimia, tired of being tired, tired of feeling sick all the time, tired of dying. Even when I went months without purging I still drank, I drank away many of the thoughts that accompany bulimia rather than dealing with them. I am tired of fitting into the American standard of beauty. Maybe I really am becoming an old hag.
In other news, I am officially a college drop out again, but at least I got my associates this time.
I have not posted my link to my book in awhile. Ever wonder how someone becomes so fucked up? Here ya go. Nah, actually when I read it I just see a girl who whines too much lol. Many people go through trauma, I honestly probably had it pretty easy. Maybe I am just weak minded.
Hockey has started again and we won our first home game. I think the last game was the first game I actually spent completely sober. I enjoyed that. Drunk people annoy me.
I mainly wanted to let people know that I am feeling a bit better today, I think the stones are helping a bit but who knows, maybe its just mental. I will keep them close though. I am finishing up the last of my apple cider drink and than I have to gas up and head to work. I am picking up OT this Saturday. Damn, bulimia is expensive, and it was only a short time I was back at doing it but damn, those manic episodes can be pricey. Oh well, I can’t beat myself up too much over it, what’s done is done, now I just have to work and make money to fix everything and get back on track. Have a good day everyone, the sun is shining here but luckily it’s nice and cool, feels like 45 degrees out, I love it. Goodbye.
Unbreakable Kitten 
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