Ya know, that cancer stuff

Yesterday 13May2020

Hello my peeps! So I know I have missed a couple days of blogging but that’s mainly cause work has been extra busy so I can’t blog during, and I have just been busy outside of work as well, ya know, just living life. Well, as much as possible lol.

So this weekend was really good. Saturday was pretty laid back, if I remember right it wasn’t the nicest of days so I tidied up a bit, went to Crystal Rock Healing because one of the owners was there and I wanted to say hello and then I spent the remainder of the day playing Kingdom Hearts 3.

Sunday was great because I got my plant hangers in FINALLY. And they look amazing! I love love love them! I also went out to eat with a friend at Red Lobster, not the greatest food buuut good none the less, it was a nice Mother’s Day lunch.



Scratch……




Today 14May2020

It is a weird feeling when your best friend finds out she could have cancer. The doctors are I think 90% sure my daughters mom has cancer in her bile ducts. Don’t quote me on numbers, we all know I suck at those. She had her CT yesterday. She had her gallbladder removed a couple weeks  ago and has made a turn for the worst with jaundice and other unpleasant stuff. They thought it was something else at first that was causing her liver to dump bile into her intestines, I think….if I remember right, I probably don’t. Anyways, she will have a procedure done tomorrow to see what is up. The doctors are hopeful they caught it right away so it would just be a simple getting the liver healthy so they can take the mass out. So, I guess we wait to see.

Even though many in my family have died from cancer I have never actually cried at the news of possible cancer, that is weird on its own. I don’t like to cry, my eyes get puffy and swelly lol. But the doctors are hopeful, so I will be hopeful.

I don’t much like pessimism these days, its more exhausting than anything. I used to think it prepared me for the worst, after all, if you expect the worst you can never be disappointed right? But really, its just more draining, and only leads to further disappointment because your lack of expectations are confirmed. Its less forgiving. But everything will be alright.


So yeah, I was finally going to write a blog yesterday about how great things were but then yeah….

BUT things are still good ya know? Nothing has changed other than possible bad news but even if bad news does happen, the only thing thats really changed is just that…like, it just means treatment and getting better. My daughter just got one of those huge playgrounds for her back yard, she’s healthy, has everything she needs. Her parents still have everything they want and need. I still have everything that I was happy with before the possible bad news. So yeah, possible bad news doesn’t change anything if no one knows anything yet. And if bad news is confirmed, our surroundings are still the same, which are very healthy and privileged surroundings none the less, even mine, so the rate of everything being okay is high.


Sooo, yes, lets get back to it.

I still absolutely love Your Super products. I have been meaning to do a detox but I seem to really love hummus at the moment. I don’t know why I get in those moods where I just need ALL of something. Sometimes its BLTs, sometimes its tacos, sometimes its sushi, sometimes its onions and pickles, now I guess it is hummus. I mean…it could be worst lol. I haven’t had any real JUNK FOOD junk food cravings like crappy chocolate and candy since I did the detox. I have successfully switched over to carbs, but healthy carbs from fruits and whatnot…except the hummus and pretzels lol. I have gained a few pounds, but I think it is more water bloat as I have not been drinking enough water lately. I should have another detox kit being sent soon. I do have a little bit of the stuff remaining so I can definitely load up on extra scoops these next few days. I should start another detox when it comes in. I do feel so much better drinking them, like I just feel good. I am bloated this morning from video games and pretzels last night, I just needed to keep my mind from going off the deep end. I know I need to eat better. I don’t eat terribly though, just not as good as I should be. I should stay away from all processed foods. I think I will start calorie counting a little, just so I know how much portion control is.

I don’t think the next detox will be terrible because I haven’t had caffeine in like two weeks now. I don’t exactly miss it except for days where ya know, cry at night or something lol. But I feel like I am more aware of how cruddy my body really is inside. You see, when I drink caffeine I get all this energy, but now I am wondering how much of it is real energy vs my body just on a drug. You know, like when you take Tylenol for a headache, your not really getting rid of the problem, just masking it. So I feel like caffeine is masking how unhealthy I am. Like why do I feel sluggish without it? So yeah, its wasn’t intentional to quit drinking it for awhile, I just didn’t want to.

These were taken before bad news lol, so life felt perfect at the time.


Guys, I really hate cancer.


So how about the plants?

So I probably got too trigger happy with the camera but I was legit excited for my plants to finally be hanging lol. Also, I know I don’t take the best pictures. I have wanted them for awhile, and to finally have a salt lamp, plants, the decor, crystals, incense, a safe and secure apartment, a reliable and safe car, just everything, I am grateful for it all. So its made me really happy, not the stuff in general, but just how hard I have worked to get here, like, the accomplishment.


I have been tanning at the gym, it feels great to do that again. I really dislike tan lines and since it was becoming nice and I was outside a lot those were becoming a thing. Feeling just a little prettier really helps me feel human. I know that is a privilege but I have worked hard to get where I am at, so I don’t feel too guilty. I also know I have a long way to go to get ahead financially. I have been applying for evening jobs, I am not sure who all is hiring right now but I need to do something ya know? I cannot sit around and wait on money from the government. I can’t let myself feel like a dog needing to be taken care of. So I am crossing my fingers something happens with that soon.


I suppose that is all for today, I just wanted to update everyone. I meant to blog yesterday but yeah, ya know lol. I hope everyone has a great day, stay hopeful, keep ya head up, and do what you need to do to be the healthiest you. Later peeps.

Why did I low carb again? Ugh

Another day of bloat. Its okay though, thats what happens when you eat carbs after not eating carbs for awhile. At least the itchy legs are gone, for some reason I swell up in the legs the most after eating carbs and they become itchy. That is going down now a small bit though, I don’t completely blow up when I eat carbs now. I am still taking my detox mixes. I probably should stop eating heavy carbs like bread and crackers and eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. But I have been in this predicament many a times, it should get better soon. I have been downing liquids, that is the only thing you can do when eating carbs again, and Miralax. I do feel the detox powders are helping this time around. I should honestly be following the directions buuut yeah…carbs are also very addicting when you haven’t had them in forever.


I have just been trying to take it easy on my body. I do wish that it was nice enough to walk outside but its been pretty cold, we have freezing temps coming. I had to my my plants into my closet and leave the light on for warmth, so its sort of a greenhouse right now. At least the gym will open Monday.


Maybe the next couple days I will down a lot of liquids whenever I feel like eating. I should steam some vegetables. I did buy some sweet potatoes and leeks so I could make some soup. I should have bought vegetable broth. Oh well, it is for Saturday. I think my friend and I are going to eat on Sunday so that should give me a couple days to recover.


I am going to go to bed though, its a little after nine but I need all the sleep I can get since my body is doing sorta a recovery. So have a good night y’all, sweet dreams.

 

Not As Planned Again lol

Okay, yesterday did not go near as planned (does that surprise anyone?). I mean, I didn’t eat meat so that is good. I just didn’t stick to the plan fully because I wanted to play video games last night so ate pita chips, pretzels, and hummus. So, detox will turn into a 3 day detox? I mean, it could be 5 if I don’t go out to eat with my friend this weekend. I don’t feel too terrible, I mean my head hurts a little, I think thats the lack of caffeine for two days. Maybe I am sensitive to caffeine too, because I have only been drinking like two green tea servings, so its not like thats a lot. But I am sensitive to everything else so why not caffeine too?


Its a pretty chilly morning again, 34 degrees right now, Uffda. We have some cold weather coming, my knees were starting to act up a little yesterday. Luckily the gym will open on Monday so I should be able to start strengthening them with weights. Also the tanning will be open too, THANK GAWD, because tanning salons are hella expensive. It will also be nice to go for when theres these chilly mornings, because who wants to walk in that?


Also, I just realized that when I chose my plants the other day I told the guy who was helping me I face East….I FACE WEST, Whyyyyy am I always getting mixed up on east and west? Ugh, west….west west west…maybe I will go back on lunch today and make sure I didn’t choose the wrong plants.


So I have not been drinking as much water as I should lately and it is defiantly showing. So I started out my day by drinking 32 oz along with a lemon ginger tea. Lack of water is not good for the body at all. So today I will drink 165 oz today, because I think my weight is sorta fluctuating between 162-165 so I want to be on the the top end. I am just going by an oz for each pound.


To be honest though, even though I didn’t do the detox to the T yesterday, since I did pig out a little, I mean, it was pretzels and pita bread so not like candy or chips, I still feel pretty good. I did load up on fruits and vegetables. I actually found out I love tahini. I still don’t really have sugar cravings, that ended with the last detox, so thats pretty good. So, maybe meat really is the problem.


How is it already Wednesday? Is time just flying by for everyone else too?


Wowwww, sooo totally finished up the pita chips, pretzels, and hummus today. Ugh…so anyone who has ever yo-yo’s on low carb knows that’s when you go back to eating carbs, YOU BLOAT LIKE A WHALE. Strangely enough, my joints feel okay. But yeah, totally a whale right now. Ugh….thats why you need to stay away from salty products and down the water. I actually did probably get close to my water amount in. I took three servings of Miralax tonight. Constipation is a great time. I meant to post throughout the day how it was going with the detox, but yeah, didn’t happen lol. Well, my tablet is about to die, so I wish you all a good night. Better luck tomorrow 🙂

Another Detox-Day 1

Eeesh, who woulda thought I would be doing this detox again. I am doing it true to its core this time, so no caffeine, fruit smoothie for breakfast, salad for lunch, and smoothie for dinner. I guess there are other items one can have for lunch, salad just seems easiest. I also bought tahini, I really have no idea what it is but a lot of recipes call for it, and the owners of Your Super love it, thus why many recipes call for it I’m sure.


This morning I am having one of Twinnings ginger teas, its for digestion but has other fruit flavors in it. I am doing this 1. Because I like having a hot beverage when I wake up, and 2. My digestive system is going to need it, especially going from low carb back to Whole Foods.  At least I know now that meat makes me sick, like I always knew it of cheese and milk products, just not meat.


So I am starting this much like the other detox in terms of what I am hoping for, so, there has been bloat, not terrible, but definitely there. I want to get rid of that, the scale says 165.4 this morning, but two days ago I had a lot of food and I am sure my body is still working on that, plus tacos from yesterday. I also am getting itchy skin again. The one thing that I do not believe I mentioned but did happen yesterday was my ears ringing. I don’t know if many of you remember, or if I ever mentioned it, but I have had problems with ringing in my ears. Except I now realize I never had that problem when eating plant based. Last month during my cycle I really craved meat and so ate some of course during the course of the week, and I remember my ears ringing. I did not think too much of it at the time, actually I thought maybe it was because of my cycle. Well, I have been eating meat since the end of my detox, so roughly a week, and when I was at the store yesterday my ears started ringing again. So, itchy skin, bloating, inflamed joints, ringing ears, these are the things I want gone, and if eating a plant based diet for a week makes them go away, than logically I can only assume meat does not work with me. Also, I have been getting those tummy pains, maybe its because meat is more filling in the tummy? I don’t know, but I didn’t have that problem either when eating plant based.


Soooo, weed over liquor, vegan, avocado on toast, soon to be plant hoarder, salt lamps, incense, sage, crystals, tea over coffee, all natural products, essential oils, against war, hates inequality,  yoga, meditation….My tastes have changed completely from when I started blogging.


I love the rain. Bailey and I cannot go on our walk this morning since we have been having a good rainfall all night. Its a good thing, the rain, I feel bad for the farmers. I am not a fan of the soon to be food shortage. I mean, maybe there won’t be, definitely on meat, but theres a lot of bare shelves at the store. I would say a good chunk of items is half at best but common to see things trickling on 1/4 to empty.


Eeesh, not even 7 am and I am a yawnin, I literally slept through the whole night, like 9 something PM to 530 am. It felt great.


I am now drinking my palo santo tea. If I am detoxing my body I might as well detox the spiritual side of it too. I think I should smudge my apartment today. Its nice to wake up not feeling anxious. Is the anxiety a side effect from meat? Its all so weird. Maybe its more of a subconscious guilt knowing I am contributing to animal cruelty by eating meat.


So next month is June, the end of June is when my time is up for my temp job. Its not a good feeling counting down time. The coroner driver deadline is the end of June also. I really feel like I should work with dead people. With dead comes new beginnings. Anyways, maybe that will somehow work out.


I think Bailey is bummed about not going for a walk. I think he is liking being more active a little more. Too bad we cannot see Hawkins today. Yesterday we walked with them for a little while. Hawkins seems to like Bailey. He’s such a anxious pup though, it’s sad. But Bailey and I walked on the outside of them yesterday, and Hawkins usually is all over the place but he wasn’t so much when Bailey was on the side of him. Bailey stared at him a lot. Maybe tomorrow.


So Saturday I think it going to be a fun day. The guy and pup we had our play date with last weekend would like to again. Right now Saturday looks kinda cruddy, but maybe it will get better.I think we are also going to go out and eat, we have both realllly been wanting sushi. We will see how my tummy is doing too I suppose.


I am going to go take a shower and figure out what I want my smoothie to be today. I made a list yesterday to take to the grocery store and naturally forgot it, so I didn’t remember half the items. Well, have a good day peeps.

Uffda, back to vegetarian

Well, I have decided to do a cheating detox, as in, I can still drink my green and black tea, but will still follow the rest of the Your Super Detox program. This is to reset my body again, get the meat out of my body, slowly add in grains and legumes, and see what a result without meat is. Today will be mainly salad I think, I have to shop for carbs.


So the scale said 169.6 this morning, but yesterday was a very big day of eating. Yesterday morning is said 162 something, so again, I am not doing the scale weight as a means of fat loss, but just because its important to know how weight fluctuates. Once that food digests it will go down. I am starting to have weird eczema  again, thus why I am wondering if I am allergic to meat. My back is sore but I think that might be from moving around furniture. I was so exhausted yesterday, even in the morning I had to take a two hour random nap.


Okay, so detox didn’t start today. I wanted to test meat one more time, yup, tacos made me sick, exhausted, itchy, and bloated. I went out and bought vegetarian options, Whole Foods, nothing processed. So weird I tell ya.


Well, I felt like shit all day after eating meat so I am going to take a nice hot bath with salt ,tea, and lavender. I will than curl up with a cup of hot tea and a book and fall asleep. Goodnight my peeps.

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